My Pursuit of Happy
Have you ever gotten to the point in your life when you just want to say NO!? As a fitness professional I am constantly surrounded by people trying to achieve monumental goals. They come to me to lose weight, learn how to eat healthier, get stronger, and create better habits. It is invigorating and I love helping them become the best they can be. Honest!
However, over the past year I have worked really hard to keep up with all my clients. Instead of taking on one goal, I think I took on everyone’s goal! I wanted to lean out for my wedding, eat clean with limited cheats, run every day, push through mental blocks, increase my strength, get faster and believe it or not I made some serious gains this past year! All while trying to run a brand new business and a brand new marriage.
The wedding ended and I was still going full speed ahead. I didn’t know how to stop the momentum! I landed a fitness modeling contract, got to walk the runway in a fitness fashion show in a teeny weeny bikini!, modeled for fitness icon Monica Brant’s new clothing line and somehow I wasn’t feeling my best. I was in the “best shape of my life,” but I kept thinking I needed to be leaner and fitter. (It’s amazing what the mind can do!) Instead of working out as a release it became a chore and it started to lose its luster.
And then I just hit a wall. I went so strict and so hard for so long that I was bound to get bored and bound to quit. I forgot what I was even working toward. Not only was it not fun anymore, but my system started to crash; first my digestive system and then my hormones. I became exhausted and had terrible stomach issues. My body was telling me to rest. Mentally and physically I needed a break. But how does someone in the spotlight of fitness take a break? People are looking up to me to inspire them and all I wanted to do was check out and say NO.
In the past year I had put all my energy into fitness and nutrition that I was consumed by it…and it was annoying! Where was the balance I spoke about so many times? Why was I being negative and irritable and lazy! I didn’t want to work out. I didn’t want to eat healthy and I didn’t want to set goals. Sorry to my clients, family and friends who experienced any of this!! Thankfully, every down must have an up!
2013 taught me that if I didn’t find balance in my life, the same balance I preached to my clients, I wasn’t going to be very happy! So what am I going to do this year to find my happy? Well first of all, I’m not going to set a crazy resolution. My goal this year is to simply show up and do me.
In order to create a life filled with true meaning, joy, love, appreciation, creativity, wisdom, kindness, generosity, hope, optimism, energy, and enthusiasm we must follow our virtues and live a life of integrity. How do we do this? By diligently, patiently, persistently and playfully embodying our truths and fundamentals so that what we say is important to us aligns with who we are and how we show up in the world.
So ladies and gentlemen…I’m going to start showing up!! Am I human? Yes. Do I get tired and worn out? Yes. But I expect more out of myself this year. I expect balance and gradual improvement over being all or nothing. Fitness is important to me. I value health and I value being strong. Down to my very core being there is a drive to push myself further than the day before. Sometimes you just have to show up to develop into the shining star you were meant to be :).